It is a seemingly harmless question, until you put the emphasis I keep hearing on it.
It sounds more like, What did you DO last night?!
Everyone is only trying to start a conversation, to flaunt the edges on what appears to be my excessive tiredness.
Only two people at my new job know that I am secretly sick. Not because I like to be secretive; I just don’t like the stigma. The two people who know also have chronic diseases, so they don’t even think twice about it.
Please know that I feel like I have the flu, but I’m not that kind of sick. I am fibro-sick. I am chills, sudden onset of extreme pain, exhaustion, physical weakness, and aching joints.
Last night I got home feeling very sick again. Oz wanted me to take the night easy, but I told him that if I stayed in the house undistracted, I was going to cry. And I did. A lot. But then, in an attempt to be normal, I convinced Oz to take me to Bed Bath and Beyond. We wandered the aisles, pretending to decorate our future house. I discovered Oz can’t stand gemmed/jeweled decorative pillows, mostly for their lack of function at being a pillow. To Oz, that constitutes being fluffy, comfortable, and versatile. Highly decorated pillows are not comfortable or versatile, two strikes for them.
Then we returned home. I planted myself in a garden of functional pillows and blankets, and tried to get through the night. I couldn’t focus on the usual late night television shows or the relaxing sound of the thunderstorm. I did end up sleeping off and on for about seven hours though.
That is what I did last night. I didn’t party. I didn’t run a marathon. I’m not actually tired, I’m more in pain than anything. And I am glad they can’t recognize that, because it means they haven’t been in that kind of pain. And I wouldn’t want them to.
So until they know, I will let them think for the half a second they take to inquire, that I am working a second job/dancing the night away/staying up late star gazing. And I will thank them for their consideration, because there are worse people in the world.