I’m still here

I can’t breathe. I should be able to, my allergies aren’t causing wheezing or sneezing. But I can’t breathe.  It comes from the heart. As a professional sick person, I’m aware of the mindset that disease repels.  I’m not so sure.  I think that disease terrifies people.  It scares me and I am a sick person. … Continue reading

Hello! From the future

Today, for the first time this year, I felt a tug on my heart and mind.  It was the future, saying hello! Everything has been whirring about me lately, moving much faster than I expected, and I was surprisingly startled at this futuristic greeting. I realized today just how different my life is going to … Continue reading

In the moment

One of those new age life affirming mottoes: Live in the moment. From sick people everywhere, I’d like to take a moment to tell you how incredibly hard this is. In the moment you are feeling good, life is lived and caught up on. It takes some time, but before you know it, you stop looking … Continue reading

Safe and Sound?

I did make it back from Ireland, about a week ago. The change in climate allowed me to meet myself again.  I was nearly pain-free the entire trip. This has also provoked a strange grieving process, because coming back to the heat and smog has sent me spiraling. But I don’t want to linger on … Continue reading

The Saddest Words

Every professional sick person knows the word bank of things they certainly don’t want to hear: You don’t look sick     Have you tried…..    We don’t know why your test results declined/showed up normal     I wish you could still do….    Your prescription isn’t covered by insurance    Why don’t you … Continue reading

Hibernating

I feel like I ought to start prepping now. The temperatures next week are going to drop down to the single digits. Ideally this time would be spent consuming tea, hiding under my electric blanket, and perfecting my zen art of becoming a couch cushion. But real life gets in the way. And under conditions … Continue reading