I’m still here

I can’t breathe. I should be able to, my allergies aren’t causing wheezing or sneezing. But I can’t breathe.  It comes from the heart. As a professional sick person, I’m aware of the mindset that disease repels.  I’m not so sure.  I think that disease terrifies people.  It scares me and I am a sick person. … Continue reading

What did you do last night?

It is a seemingly harmless question, until you put the emphasis I keep hearing on it. It sounds more like, What did you DO last night?!  Everyone is only trying to start a conversation, to flaunt the edges on what appears to be my excessive tiredness. Only two people at my new job know that … Continue reading

Hoops are for suckers

You know those ridiculous little yellowish bottles with the white caps and labels that medications come in?  You’d think that those bottles were made of gold, with all the hoops that I have had to jump through to obtain one – an empty one at that!  Last August, the office that I worked at had … Continue reading

…and things are back to normal

  One of my least favorite parts of fibromyalgia is the soap opera that occurs whenever I visit any kind of health specialist.  I can almost hear the dramatic music swelling while I wait for test results that will only tell me what I already know: I’m in perfect health. On paper.  Hell, on paper, … Continue reading

Discomfort

I know your technical term is discomfort. But let me tell you right now, I wouldn’t be here if I was only experiencing discomfort. An awesome Friday turned into 9:30pm trip to the emergency room. I was in severe lower abdomen pain, low like ovaries, uterus, etc. Like couldn’t walk, couldn’t sit, couldn’t stand searing … Continue reading

Sage words I already knew

If you could be present, you’d do great. (Anyone else feel like that is the story of their life?) My un-fibro self screams at this.  Positively berates me. You can do better, just get a lot more sleep/exercise/vitamins. You aren’t trying hard enough. and a whole other slew of impolite criticisms. But honestly, all I … Continue reading